Early Road Map

"I remember once when I had been giving a talk to the R.A.F., an old, hard-bitten officer got up and said, ‘I’ve no use for all that stuff. But, mind you, I’m a religious man too. I know there’s a God. I’ve felt Him: out alone in the desert at night: the tremendous mystery. And that’s just why I don’t believe all your neat little dogmas and formulas about Him. To anyone who’s met the real thing they all seem so petty and pedantic and unreal!’
Now in a sense I quite agreed with that man. I think he had probably had a real experience of God in the desert. And when he turned from that experience to the Christian creeds, I think he really was turning from something real to something less real. In the same way, if a man has once looked at the Atlantic from the beach, and then goes and looks at a map of the Atlantic, he also will be turning from something real to something less real: turning from real waves to a bit of coloured paper. But here comes the point. The map is admittedly only coloured paper, but there are two things you have to remember about it. In the first place, it is based on what hundreds and thousands of people have found out by sailing the real Atlantic. In that way it has behind it masses of experience just as real as the one you could have from the beach; only, while yours would be a single glimpse, the map fits all those different experiences together. In the second place, if you want to go anywhere, the map is absolutely necessary. As long as you are content with walks on the beach, your own glimpses are far more fun than looking at a map. But the map is going to be more use than walks on the beach if you want to get to America."

C.S. Lewis - Mere Christianity

Continuing with the theme of Beauty
and related topics:

Today I'm thinking about love in the context of beauty.

Love = spiritual desire: in this framework, desire is that which draws us spiritually upward toward something or someone. Imagine standing in the Sistine Chapel viewing the amazing works of Michelangelo. Something about his work draws us, causes us to admire and appreciate it. The astounding beauty of it pulls us higher and we open ourselves to the magnificence of it all. The beauty of it attracts us. We love and admire what we see. That is love/desire in this framework.

Love of Beauty

Appetite =  carnal desire: every impulse of the animal flesh to pursue, hunt and kill, dominate, to consume, to devour and fill the belly, to own, to take, to control, manipulate and copulate, to satiate the flesh. It goes without saying that in our consumerism driven world, advertisers and the media as a whole know well how to appeal to the appetite. 

Love of Appetite

As humans we have both impulses and the capacity to experience both. We also have the habit of confusing the two, mistaking one for the other. Actually, what we do is lie to ourselves by justifying our appetites, telling ourselves we’re “in love”(filthy rich, soulless marketers do a great job encouraging us in this direction). We also have the ability to choose between the two, to encourage the one and devalue the other or to exalt the one and dominate the other. We can either be an intelligent beast or we can be a god and ride the beastly part of us to unforeseen victories. Without love there is only appetite.

“Lust is a poor, weak, whimpering, whispering thing compared with that richness and energy of desire (love) which will arise when lust has been killed.
 – C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

More to come:

Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary;

    his understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint,

    and to him who has no might he increases strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary,

    and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

    they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

'Do you want to be made well?'

I was struck by today's reading in John 5:1-15 where Jesus heals the man at the pool of Beth-zatha. I've said this before but, did you ever notice how Jesus sometimes sneaks up on people? The sick man had been there for 38 years hoping for a chance to get in the pool. Jesus comes to him. He is a complete stranger to the sick man and asks him if he wants to be healed. Well, of course he does. He's been focused on it for 38 years. In this Jesus is challenging his assumptions. He tells him to get up. The man obeys (how could he not) and is healed - not knowing till later who it is who healed him.

Jesus, sneak up on me today. Challenge my assumptions and heal me, that I may know you and serve you better.

In Search of Beauty

A few weeks ago we were talking about sexual identity. and this interesting essay. 

You will recall that the writer postulated that the concept of sex-based identity for humans is a modern construct and that the terms, heterosexual and homosexual, which have multiplied and produced a plethora of sex-based identities for post-moderns to choose from, did not exist before the mid-1800s and were popularized by Freud in the early 1900s (the behaviors were, of course labeled and discussed before that time but those behaviors were not considered to have to do with a person’s core identity but rather the result of being a sinful, fallen human being whether male or female).

I’ve lately become more and more interested in Church and Medieval history, well, not history per say but interested in early and medieval thought, especial in the life of the Church. That’s because I like C.S. Lewis. Lewis, for me is one of the marker stones that I always come back to for understanding of theology, philosophy and practical Christian life. Whether it’s Meditations on the Taro, Hermeticism, or Plato, Lewis’ profound understanding of medieval literature coming from a life devoted to its study is a sure pathway.

Anyway, one thing led to another which led to this interesting essay by Anthony Esolen about friendship and how it has been defiled by arbitrary and convenient redefinition

His fine essay takes me back to my experiences as a boy and young man. Mine was, I’m sure fairly typical for men my age – distant parents who were working hard to make a materially better life for themselves and their children while at the same time leaving the yeoman’s work of discipline, direction and affirmation to the schools and the Church and mostly for the kids to figure out on their own. Our parents came from an age where that was possible. Boys and young men could possibly have relationships with extended family and others in the community without much fear of the dangers that plague families and communities today.

In Captains Courageous, Kipling paints a beautiful picture of healthy relationships between men and boys, “Tis beautiful to see how he takes to ut,’ said Long Jack, when Harvey (a 14 year old) was looking out by the windlass one thick noon. ‘I’ll lay my wage an’ share ‘tis mor’n half play-actin’ to him, an’ he constates himself he’s a bowld mariner. Watch his little bit av a back now!’

            “That’s the way we all begin,” said Tom Platt. “The boys they make believe all the time till they’ve cheated ‘emselves into bein’ men, an’ so till they die – pretendin’ an’ pretendin’”

I think I can state pretty confidently that I’m not the only man my age that would have benefited greatly from more influence in my young life from unconfused, honest, older men. I am, at the same time very thankful for the men that did have an influence on my life like my father and grandfather. When I was a little older there was a burly German mechanic who worked for a Porsche racing shop where I hung out every chance I had. A little later another German Porsche mechanic taught me how to tear down and rebuild 6-cylender Porsche engines and to drink St Pauli Girl and Courvoisier. And, a little later yet, and most influential was a Pastor who was willing to put up with this brash, confused and insecure young man. He and I spent many an hour drinking coffee till my eyes couldn’t focus for the jitters. For his patience and kindness I will forever be grateful.

This essay and others are pointing to something. Esolen does a fine job of stating the problem but, as a Christian, what can I do to make it better instead of wringing my hands, restating the problem and lobbing condemnation on the media, the politicians and the schools? What is the missing ingredient? What am I not understanding?

Lately I’m beginning to think that the missing ingredient has to do with beauty and our response to it.

But more on this later

Abram has visitors

Separation

Funny dream last night. In it I had the opportunity to confront someone who had deeply offended me many years ago. I was not angry. I had prayed through and talked out the situation several times before and had long since made my peace. I did not speak in malice or with any desire to hurt but I spoke so that person would understand. They understood. You’re thinking that maybe they asked for forgiveness and we had a happy ending, but they didn’t. It wasn’t necessary. What was necessary was for me to articulate my hurt and anger to someone whom I will likely never have the opportunity to speak to in this life and feel that they understood my hurt.

It was such a stark and realistic dream that it woke me up immediately after I had said my piece. As I lay in bed pondering it I realized that I still had a sliver of a thorn in my heart that I was not aware of. Job chapter 33 says, “For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men, while they slumber on their beds. . .”  God spoke to me in my dream.

B.G. over at O.C. has been talking about separation lately, or how God pulls back to create space for us to discover our need and search for Him. It’s always amazing to me how God can accomplish more in a 30 second dream than I can in a lifetime. As I pondered, it was revealed to me how I had not really been angry at the offending party of my dream but that I had been angry at God. Now, I confess that I have had times when I’ve been angry with my Maker and there was no doubt between Him and me of that fact. I was angry and I let Him know it. He wasn’t impressed, by the way. But this was deeper.

I was taken back to the story of a small child who had been offended when his mother abandoned him in kindergarten and then later when that child grew to adolescence and was abandoned once again by divorcing parents and older siblings moving away from home. In both situations that child was forced to make decisions that he was not prepared to make and he chose to be angry about it. He thought he was angry at Mom and Dad and the rest of the world. In reality, by extension, he was angry with God, but he didn’t know it.

That is the story of my personal separation from God. I’m sure you have one too. You see, I had gone through those times thinking God was nowhere, that I was alone, that I had been forsaken and abandoned and, if it was to be, it was up to me. And I was angry.

The good news is that God was always there, I just didn’t know it. And, in a moment of time, in a dream, God gently pulled the sliver of a thorn out of the child/man’s heart, and that space between Him and me, in that moment became much smaller. As I continued to ponder on my bed I suddenly realized that my anger was gone. What I didn’t know was there but always knew was there was gone. Now it was my turn. I did the only thing I could do. In a moment I realized my fault and my sin and asked His forgiveness.

“ Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” – I Thessalonians 5:23-24

Heretical Schismatic 

Why I'm not Roman Catholic or Orthodox

Since this seems to be a theme for me lately . . . .
I have no bone to pick with the Romans or the Eastern Church. As I've said before, I have a great respect for the R/Os. I don't know if Western civilization would have survived without them, especially the Roman Church. Emperor Constantine was both a blessing and a curse to the Church and his influence is still felt in the Church today, even in the far edges of the Protestant Church.
I have been called a heretical schismatic by a Roman and though I took it as a badge of honor I do not consider myself to be protesting anything, only disagreeing on a few points that marked, and still mark the Reformed Church (aka - the Protestant Church by the R/Os).
Anyway, as I've been giving thought to the issue lately, I came across a great quote by C.S. Lewis who is, in my opinion, one of the defining voices for understanding reformed Christianity.

"And now we begin to see what it is that the New Testament is always talking about. It talks about Christians ‘being born again’; it talks about them ‘putting on Christ’; about Christ ‘being formed in us’; about our coming to ‘have the mind of Christ’.

Put right out of your head the idea that these are only fancy ways of saying that Christians are to read what Christ said and try to carry it out—as a man may read what Plato or Marx said and try to carry it out. They mean something much more than that. They mean that a real Person, Christ, here and now, in that very room where you are saying your prayers, is doing things to you. It is not a question of a good man who died two thousand years ago. It is a living Man, still as much a man as you, and still as much God as He was when He created the world, really coming and interfering with your very self; killing the old natural self in you and replacing it with the kind of self He has. At first, only for moments. Then for longer periods. Finally, if all goes well, turning you permanently into a different sort of thing; into a new little Christ, a being which, in its own small way, has the same kind of life as God; which shares in His power, joy, knowledge and eternity."

- Mere Christianity

I can't claim to have studied R/O doctrine deeply though I know a few R/Os - mostly Rs - but I have never encountered anything in the Roman or Orthodox realm that comes anywhere close to such clear and forthright statements of the Gospel as are found in the Reformed branch of the Church. Whenever I begin to consider the state of the Reformed Church and all the wacky stuff that goes on and all the wacky people on its fringes and I begin to consider the possibility of going Roman I take a breath, read my Bible and some Lewis. 

And, that is why I am not Roman or Orthodox.